Balance

I've been struggling a lot recently with this. Balancing a job that is high-stress, low-fun and another job I love that is low-stress, high-fun (Pampered Chef) and my most important job of being a wife, which is high-stress, medium-fun, but by far the most worthwhile and rewarding job. I just have a hard time finding the correct balance.

I spend 8-10 hrs/day on the main job, cook dinner (my outlet), then spend about 45 min-1 hr/night (that I don't have a show) on PC, try to get on the treadmill for 30 minutes, and then spend the rest of the night cleaning. It's amazing the mess that 2 exhausted adults can make in such a short period of time.

I'm completely worn out. After a full day of work, Mike gets to come home, eat dinner, and chill the rest of the night. I don't know the meaning of chill. And when I sit down or lay down for more than a few minutes, I have this feeling of guilt, and the dirty toilet or tub or the fact that the dishwasher is full of clean dishes just won't leave me alone and I eventually get up and take care of it. I like to have it taken care of, it's just that I never get to relax. And we don't have kids yet! Isn't this supposed to be the time that I'm supposed to remember as relaxing? I can only imagine how tough it's going to be if I have to work when we have kids!

Sometimes I feel like I'm still new to this whole "wife" thing, and life is full of adjustments. Another part of the problem is that we are busting out of this apartment and there is just not enough room for all of our stuff, which stresses me out more than anything. I'm having to come to terms with the fact that this apartment will never ever ever ever be really clean until we move... which is hard if your main job is to "keep home." I love Mike so much and want to be the wife he always wanted.

A good step I made is to try to complete a little bit every night instead of waiting until the weekend to have a cleaning fest. That helps out tremendously. And I've also let go of the fact that when Mike helps, he's not going to do it exactly like I do and it's OK. I'd rather have his help!

Can anyone relate? Any ideas? Words of advice? I'd appreciate it so much! Oh, and thanks for listening!