About 5 months ago, Mike and I started "trying" to get pregnant. Ever since then, babies are everywhere, and I mean everywhere. Every single day I get on facebook and find out that someone else is expecting! It's on TV all the time. Last night I was volunteering at Riley and watching the TV in the patient's room. King of Queens was on, and the couple had decided to start "trying." Then How I Met your Mother came on (really really funny episode), and one of the couples on there decided that they would start "trying." I'm like, "Stop! Enough already! We're 'trying'!" Everywhere we go, there are pregnant ladies (are they MOCKING me??) and so many of my friends are pregnant. I'm truly, genuinely happy for them, as I hope friends would be happy for me if the situation was reversed but....
...honestly I've struggled a lot with jealousy. Mike and I are in seemingly the most perfect time in our lives to start a family. We are debt-free. We have great jobs. We have a house. We are not getting any younger... sounds perfect ,right? This is something that I've desired since I was a little girl. Ah, how little I understand about the will of God. I know that God has this all in His hands and it will happen in His perfect time. I just keep having to tell myself that, month after month of disappointment. On the upside, this has taught me a lot about how my body works, which is so amazing! God thought of everything! I guess it just boils down to being content where I am? Yes, I think so.
Our pastor spoke a few weeks about how we often think we deserve something b/c of our accomplishments.... not always true in God's eyes.
So hopefully soon I will be able to announce a new blessing in our lives right here on this blog! Until then I'll keep praying and "trying."
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4 comments:
I'll be praying for you all. I can't say that I know exactly what you are feeling and mean. However, I can relate it to a different scenario. That would be me meeting my fiance, falling in love, and getting married. Now that I'm 31 days out from our wedding, I can look back and see God's timing. I can see each struggle He put both of us through was so that we were stronger, more prepared for this most amazing covenant we will make soon. I remember thinking "everyone is getting a ring", "oh, look now she is planning her wedding", "oh, they just got back from their honeymoon." I also kept thinking, I'm not getting any younger and look at all these "young" ones getting married. I was genuinely happy and excited for all of them, especially those I was close to and those whose weddings I was blessed to be a bridesmaid in. I still had that longing. I still had that feeling that I'm not where I need to be to fulfill this longing and desire I've had as long as I can remember. Had you told me this would happen two years ago when Matt and I started dating, I would have been excited at the prospect but said, "there's no way that will happen." God knew. He had me in his hands; both of us in His hands the entire time. God's timing; not mine is perfect. One day I'm sure I'll be in your current shoes, and I hope I can remember this time and be more content with knowing God's timing will prevail. We are human, though. It's natural to have these feelings. I know God will provide for you and Mike. It will be a wonderful time when it happens. You will both make wonderful parents. How blessed you are to be financiall sound and ready for that beautiful blessing.
I hope this helps in some way. I try to reflect on what has often been my life verse.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~ Jeremiah 29:11
Much love from TX,
Misty
I'll be praying for you all. I can't say that I know exactly what you are feeling and mean. However, I can relate it to a different scenario. That would be me meeting my fiance, falling in love, and getting married. Now that I'm 31 days out from our wedding, I can look back and see God's timing. I can see each struggle He put both of us through was so that we were stronger, more prepared for this most amazing covenant we will make soon. I remember thinking "everyone is getting a ring", "oh, look now she is planning her wedding", "oh, they just got back from their honeymoon." I also kept thinking, I'm not getting any younger and look at all these "young" ones getting married. I was genuinely happy and excited for all of them, especially those I was close to and those whose weddings I was blessed to be a bridesmaid in. I still had that longing. I still had that feeling that I'm not where I need to be to fulfill this longing and desire I've had as long as I can remember. Had you told me this would happen two years ago when Matt and I started dating, I would have been excited at the prospect but said, "there's no way that will happen." God knew. He had me in his hands; both of us in His hands the entire time. God's timing; not mine is perfect. One day I'm sure I'll be in your current shoes, and I hope I can remember this time and be more content with knowing God's timing will prevail. We are human, though. It's natural to have these feelings. I know God will provide for you and Mike. It will be a wonderful time when it happens. You will both make wonderful parents. How blessed you are to be financiall sound and ready for that beautiful blessing.
I hope this helps in some way. I try to reflect on what has often been my life verse.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~ Jeremiah 29:11
Much love from TX,
Misty
I'll be praying for you all. I can't say that I know exactly what you are feeling and mean. However, I can relate it to a different scenario. That would be me meeting my fiance, falling in love, and getting married. Now that I'm 31 days out from our wedding, I can look back and see God's timing. I can see each struggle He put both of us through was so that we were stronger, more prepared for this most amazing covenant we will make soon. I remember thinking "everyone is getting a ring", "oh, look now she is planning her wedding", "oh, they just got back from their honeymoon." I also kept thinking, I'm not getting any younger and look at all these "young" ones getting married. I was genuinely happy and excited for all of them, especially those I was close to and those whose weddings I was blessed to be a bridesmaid in. I still had that longing. I still had that feeling that I'm not where I need to be to fulfill this longing and desire I've had as long as I can remember. Had you told me this would happen two years ago when Matt and I started dating, I would have been excited at the prospect but said, "there's no way that will happen." God knew. He had me in his hands; both of us in His hands the entire time. God's timing; not mine is perfect. One day I'm sure I'll be in your current shoes, and I hope I can remember this time and be more content with knowing God's timing will prevail. We are human, though. It's natural to have these feelings. I know God will provide for you and Mike. It will be a wonderful time when it happens. You will both make wonderful parents. How blessed you are to be financiall sound and ready for that beautiful blessing.
I hope this helps in some way. I try to reflect on what has often been my life verse.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~ Jeremiah 29:11
Much love from TX,
Misty
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